


And There Was Light

by Elefwin



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-28
Updated: 2010-03-28
Packaged: 2017-10-08 09:36:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/75313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elefwin/pseuds/Elefwin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James Gordon had confess'd that he failed to change light bulbs in his own basement. so, what exactly does it take to screw in a light bulb in Gotham?</p>
            </blockquote>





	And There Was Light

"You are kidding," Jim Gordon said.

Unfortunately, the person he was talking to was not best known for his sense of humor.

"No, I am not," Batman said gravely. Flashlight beam cast deep sinister shadows across his face. "This is not even funny."

"And here I thought this _rendez-vous_ was about a major crime," Gordon tried irony. It did not work.

"You've made the news. Now people of Gotham think their Major Crimes Unit chief is sloppy."

"Oh, for..!" Gordon clasped his hands. What people of Gotham thought of him had nothing to do with the state of his basement lights. It was an on-the-run joke, a little funny truth to cover a big lie... But sitting here in the dark with Batman and a flashlight somehow did not feel right. "You broke into my house and very nearly gave me a heart attack because of a _light bulb_," he repeated, and it still made no sense.

Batman shrugged. The darkness rippled around him.

"You know, the only people who give a damn about it are probably you and my wife," Jim said, exasperated.

Batman made a small strange sound, shifted awkwardly, and the old chair he was sitting on creaked ominously. Jim experienced a brief, bright surge of panic as he imagined Gotham's mysterious protector falling on his ass in some godforsaken unlit basement...

"I, um," Batman said, and produced a cardboard box from the depths of his cloak. "I brought the bulbs."

Struck speechless, Jim stared.

"Are these okay?" Batman actually sounded concerned.

"They are, yeah, they are fine," Jim said, still staring. They were smartly designed, ergonomic and most likely environment friendly light bulbs. They were probably the most sophisticated thing this basement had ever seen. "They are awesome... You do not happen to have a step-ladder on you, do you?"

"Lieutenant Gordon, are _you_ all right?"

"I... yes, yes, I am. Sloppy, eh? I'd better fix them while the iron is hot or something..."

"I," Batman said, getting up, "shall give you a hand."

He ended up lending two, and the first thing he did with those hands was drag James Gordon to check that the lights were, in fact, switched off.

"Sorry," Jim said when dust rained on them and made Batman sneeze violently.

"Never mind," muttered Batman. He did not say that Gordon felt ridiculously light in his arms, and he hoped he did not leave bruises when he sneezed and gripped his hips too tight...

"A-ha!" Jim got down with a trophy - one dead bulb in a handkerchief - and put it on the table with care. With his hair stuck up, his shirt askew and torchlight reflected in his glasses Lieutenant Gordon looked happy as a clam. Batman grinned.

When Jim turned the lights on they flooded the basement with a bright warm glow that reached to every nook and corner... and illuminated an absolute absence of Batman.

Bats, Jim knew, did not belong in the light. On his way out he stumbled over a crate and kicked the hell out of it.

Later that night James Gordon could be seen on the back steps of his house, having a quiet smoke over a tea tray for two.

"So," he blew smoke at the nearest tree. "I got an earful for collecting all that dust in the basement, and another one because the kids went down there instead of bed."

The tree rustled.

"But, you know, if this tea here goes to waste my wife will be _really_ upset."

The tree rustled. Cool wind blew shadows across the back yard, rattled the window above Gordon's head.

China clinked.


End file.
